One more man to add to my list...

Okay, so he may not be the most attractive man of all time. By the way, the list I'm referring to is the very short list of men that I would actually consider marrying. This is the first non-fictional man to be awarded the honor, I believe. In case you're wondering who the hell this guy is, allow me to enlighten you: this is Chuck Klosterman, the most awesome man alive. Author of the fantastic collection of pop-culture analysis, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. I would like to take a moment here to acknowledge Ang for turning me on to the greatness which is Chuck Klosterman. Any man who refers to John Cusack as "that motherfucker," as well as holding Cusack responsible for the idea that he (Chuck) will never have a satisfying relationship, is okay in my book. If you find my blogs even remotely entertaining, you should definitely read this book, because it's like my blogs to the 100th power.

Anyway, enough free advertisement for Chuck's book. I'm sure he has enough money already. I really wish I had something interesting to write about this week. Traffic has been absolutely abysmal on the parkway all week, for no good reason. It didn't matter how early I left for work on any given day, I still got there after 8, hard as I tried to get there by 8. See what I've resorted to? Whining about the complications of my daily commute. This is all because I get bitchings from my fans when I do not update my blog regularly. OH, I know what I'll write about....


Yes, that really is what it looks like: a box of rocks. Smelly rocks, with Elton John's name on them. I came across these babies at White Barn Candle recently and was at first intrigued, and then, after I sniffed them, appalled. First of all, why the hell would anybody buy a box of perfumed rocks? I'm guessing rocks were chosen rather than potpourri because of the opportunity to create the oh-so-clever name "Elton Rocks". And while this is the absolute truth when speaking of the man Sir Elton John himself, there is nothing rocking about these rocks. There are several different scents, and none of them are really good. Some of them are downright offensive. When I imagine the scent of Elton John, I imagine something fruity, fresh, and clean. Maybe this is sexual-preferenced based stereotyping. Just because Elton John is gay doesn't mean that he smells fruity. He could, in fact, smell like musky man ass, which is actually the name of the scent you see pictured above (I'm kidding, in case you didn't catch that). I'm really not sure what bothers me most about this product: That someone might actually pay $32 (yes, that's the price of these "precious gems") for a box of stinky rocks or that Elton John put his name on a product that he obviously didn't do a sniff test on first (or if he did, he needs to get his olfactory glands checked...probably a result of all the drugs he did back when his music wasn't all wussy and awful). Ah. Okay. I'm finished bitching about the Elton Rocks.

I honestly can't think of anything else to write at the moment. I will try to update again at some point this weekend. Don't hate me if I don't.