I am so pissed!

And rightfully so. This is the woman to blame (although, she is one amongst many contributing to my pissed-offedness):

"Who the hell is that?," you may ask. I'll tell you who it is. It's the woman I once worshiped. The woman whose ever-quick and witty dialogue caused me to fondly reminisce of Kevin Smith's glory days; the days before he forgot how to write good dialogue (this happened around the time he was writing Jersey Girl, unfortunately). Some of you who know me relatively well may now know the identity of this horrible Judas of the television world. If you're still clueless, fine, I'll throw you a bone. It is none other than Amy Sherman-Palladino, creator and often writer and director of my beloved Gilmore Girls. For those of you who haven't heard (and if you aren't a fan of the show, you probably haven't heard, and probably don't give a shit, but that's too bad, because it's my blog and I'll write about whatever the hell I want), Amy Sherman-Palladino and her pansy ass husband, Dan (I only assume he's a pansy ass because he's following her), have opted not to be a part of Gilmore Girls next season. And, as you can imagine, this has the world of Gilmore fans in an uproar. Is it possible that I am over-reacting? Yes, of course. After all, this is me we're talking about here. However, that still doesn't change the fact that I'm pissed. I feel as if I've been jilted at the altar; I finally find a TV show that I'm ready to dedicate myself to, and then the people who have consistently made it great just up and leave. Assholes. Allow me to mention that I tried for a very long time to make the "NO" symbol over that bitch's face look nice and professional, until I got so pissed that I just grafittied it on. That's all she deserves. I'm sorry I wasted the time messing around with paint shop to make it look nice. Okay. Enough about the Gilmores. Let's move on to something else that's pissing me off.

It's actually not David Lee Roth in particular that's pissing me off. It's what happened to his radio show. I'm sure some of you weren't even aware that D-Ro had a radio show. It was brief-running, but yes, several stations that used to broadcast Howard Stern picked up Roth's show when Stern moved to satellite, and 93.7 K-Rock in Pittsburgh was one such station. So, when I started working at JH, I would listen to Diamond Dave during my shitty-ass commute. Much to my delight (and surprise, I must admit), Dave is a pretty intelligent guy, and his show generally kept me intellectually stimulated as I made my way to work at 7 AM. However, apparently the owners of the station he was broadcasting from, or the producers of his show, or whoever had issues with the unique way he chose to broadcast his program. So, he basically was forced to change the format or risk being canned. And he did change the format. And then people stopped listening because the new format sucked. And he got canned anyway. And now I'm forced to listen to Opie and Anthony, who are apparently a radio-phenomenon, and were fired once, then returned on Sirius satellite, and are now on in David Lee Roth's place in the morning on regular radio. I understand why America seems to love them so much, they're stupid as hell. And for some reason, most of this country does not appreciate intellectual stimulation. They'd rather listen to two idiots calling each other fags over a radio broadcast (which Opie and Anthony often seem to do) then a well-informed discussion about global warming. "Ha ha! Who gives a shit if the polar ice caps are melting and the edges of the continents are going to get swallowed up into the ocean? These dudes gay-bashing each other are hilarious!" You may not agree with me, but I'm still pissed off about D-Ro getting kicked off the air.

Now I'd like to move on to a topic I meant to brush on weeks ago, and never got around to. When Tara, Matt, Sid, and I went bowling a few weeks back, we encountered some assholes who couldn't stop touching each other at the bowling alley. You will see an example of their assholicness to your right. That wasn't a luck shot. I have several similar shots, that was just the best one. They were stuck on each other like this for the entire evening. Thank God they weren't at the bowling alley for very long, or I may have been forced to bring in the jaws of life to pry them off of each other. This brings me to the topic of idealized love and how stupid it is, although you would have imagined an anecdote such as this would have brought me to the heinousness of public displays of affection (a.k.a PDAs). But no. I'd like to briefly touch on idealized love. We see it all the time in film, not quite as often in television, because generally in TV the story line carries on to the next week, while with film we have that hour and a half to two and half hours or so time frame to wrap everything up in. So, when we watch a film (romantic comedies are the most guilty of this) a romance between two people has to be summed up in a neat little package. As I'm sure we all (if not consciously, then subconsciously) know, the formula for a romantic comedy goes something like this: Guy meets girl, guy loses girl, guy goes through trial and tribulations to win girl back, guy wins girl back and they live happily ever after. And we're not really satisfied unless this happens. Think of films you've watched that the romantic objects do not end up together at the end. You were probably dissatisfied. To throw out a couple of examples: My Best Friend's Wedding, the probably lesser-known, but surely worth mentioning Annie Hall, and even Chasing Amy. These are revisionist romantic comedies because they don't follow the classic formula that has been used over and over and over and over again for romantic comedies. There's just too much shit to say about this, so I'll make it fast and dirty. We don't feel as satisfied at the end of a revisionist romantic comedy because it reminds us too much of how life usually works out, and we'd rather see things happen the way we wish they could happen. The classic formula has destroyed the way that many people view relationships. We have this idealized view of happily ever after, and when there are some bumps along the way, we become disenchanted, and believe that nothing can ever work out. And I'm just as guilty for believing this shit as anybody else is. But I hate that neat little classic romantic comedy formula...the idealized love, because it makes me think like that. Things can't always be perfect, dammit. So, I try to reserve a little place in my heart for the revisionist romantic comedies, so that I can remind myself that that's more like what life is really like. You win some, you lose some. Too preachy and textbook-like? Possibly. But I don't give a shit. I've been thinking about it, so there it is.

To end on a much lighter note, I'd like to share some of my amusement from work with all of my loyal fans. Going through resumes on job sites is tons of fun, because, as Patrick always tells me, it's like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get (of course, Patrick raped that line from Forrest Gump, but whatever). So, here are a couple of good lines from some of the resumes on my favorite site for entertaining resumes, PA Career Link:

EXPERIENCE
60 Months
GARDENER

self, ligonier, PA

make sure plants don't die. Water,weed,plant

My favorite part of that one is "Make sure plants don't die." But this next one takes the cake for most awesome resume moment:

5 Months
NIGHT STALKER

Target, North Fayette, PA

Stalking shelves at night

I just wasn't aware that it was possible to stalk inanimate objects, so you can imagine my surprise when I learned something new! Hehehehe! Well, that's enough blogging for the evening. Sorry for the length of this one, it's been awhile, and I've had way too much to think about. Until next time, this is Sven, signing out.