Yeah, I know.

I know I haven't posted anything in approximately 5 months. Unfortunately for you guys, I'm not dead. I've just been busy (sometimes) and lazy (most of the time). I'm still busy, wasting my life away getting more education, I've just ceased to be lazy for tonight. The occasion is to bring to you a list of things that I currently cannot handle. Enjoy!

Things I Absolutely Cannot Handle:

• Married people. 'Nuff said.
  
• Men and their views on sex. Trust me, you don't want me to go into detail here. If you're a chick, you probably already understand.
  
• Assholes in Tucson who wear sweatshirts outside when it is still 90 degrees. It's not fucking cold. In fact, it's actually still pretty HOT.
  
• Guys who feel the need to grunt, groan, and pant while lifting weights at the gym as if they're having sex. Save it for the bedroom, shit head. I don't want to hear your primal noises while I'm trying to work out.
• This dude I saw today riding a bike with his disgust-o ass crack hanging out of his jeans. It was a treat, let me tell you.
  
• Girls who feel the need to be bitchy to other girls for absolutely no reason, gossip about every woman they know, or stab their "friends" in the back. Get over yourself, honey, and stop giving the female sex a bad name.
  
• And finally: Child actors named "Dakota". You all know of my hatred for Dakota Fanning. Well, now there's another one: Dakota Blue Richards. She's a stupid little British bitch, born in the same year as my nemesis, Fanning. This begs the question: WHY? Why do people name their awful little babies Dakota, and why do these stupid little bitches, at the age of 13, already have more money than I will ever make in my entire life? Enjoy their horrible little faces as I take my leave of you, with the promise to return sooner or later.