I HATE HIM.

That's all I can say. I won't comment further, because I'll probably be arrested.

You Son of a Bush!

It is 9PM on Tuesday night. I've just finished watching my beloved Gilmore Girls, and have changed the channel to NBC. After all, the other greatest show on television airs at exactly 9PM on Tuesday. Two new episodes of Scrubs per week. What could be better than an hour of Gilmore Girls followed by an hour of Scrubs? Not a whole hell of a lot. But I'll tell you what sucks total ASS! When I ever so contently switched those two channels between WB and NBC, ready for my second hour of pure wonderfulness, my Tuesday night bliss was DESTROYED by none other than the dictator of our great nation. WHY?! Why does the State of the Union have to air on Tuesday night? Scrubs night? We all know it's pretty shitty, we don't need hours of W's babbling followed by applause, and that's how it goes....one sentence, then applause. Another sentence, applause. Please hold your applause until the end, folks! It's common courtesy, plus it makes things go a hell of a lot faster. But I digress. At least Douchebag didn't ruin Gilmore Girls. I'm trying to take a glass-half-full approach to life here.

"You made me love you...."

You know what really drives me crazy? The commercial for Hoveround. These annoying old people sing that stupid old song...."You made me love you, I didn't want to do it, I didn't want to do it...." And they're singing it about a power chair. And then the song gets stuck in my head, and I want to kill myself. And then the representative on the commercial says that she's surprised at how many old people say that they love their Hoverounds because they got them at little or no cost. Well no shit. Who doesn't love something that they get for free? Okay. I'm finished.

Oh, Richard Gere.

Until this morning, I had completely forgotten about the monstrosity of a film entitled American Gigolo, starring none other than Richard Gere. In case you haven't had the delight of viewing this particular film, I'll give you the "tagline," courtesy of IMDB.com: "He's the highest paid lover in Beverly Hills. He leaves women feeling more alive than they've ever felt before. Except one." All I can say to that is: BEAT. For some strange reason, I cannot fathom Richard Gere, or any character played by him, leaving me "feeling more alive than I have ever felt before." However, what is indescribably more beat is how the two hours of my life that I spent viewing this film, which I had, up until this morning, repressed, resurfaced as I drove to my job interview this morning. I was listening to Bob FM, which, for those of you who either haven't heard of it or don't live in Pittsburgh, replaced WRRK, which was a rather awesome classic rock station. Bob FM's claim to fame is that they will play anything. Which is apparently true. Anyway, the announcer said, "And next up, we have Blondie's 'Call Me,' the theme from American Gigolo." And that's when it hit me like a ton of bricks. The most awesomely heinous thing about American Gigolo was its total exploitation of "Call Me." If you've seen the movie, you'll know what I'm talking about. If not, watch it, and pay attention only to the music. The only song in the movie is "Call Me." But it gets better. Just to keep the audience from getting bored, we get variations of "Call Me". There's an intense "Call Me" for intense moments, a sad "Call Me" for sad moments, etc. etc. Apparently they couldn't get the rights to any other songs, and they couldn't find anybody to compose original music for the film, so they just had to do what they could with "Call Me." Trust me, rent it, watch it, it will make you want to die and roll on the floor laughing all at the same time. That's all for now.

"Now you're messin' with a....."

I love "Hair of the Dog." It makes me want to do something badass. I would really like to think that I am badass. Unfortunately, I know that I am about the least badass person to ever live. But, exciting news! My very own copy of Doogie Howser, MD The Complete Third Season shipped on Saturday. And if the postal service refrains from sucking ass, I should get it sometime this week.

No segues here...I don't give two shits if my blog flows. I don't plan to use this to showcase my writing skills. If you want to see how well I can write, I'll send you something I got an A on in college. I will simply use the blog to write down the random crap that I'm thinking. And I think an awful lot of random crap.


I like the fact that I can write beside this picture. The museum is fun (that's where this picture was taken). You know what else I like? Gilmore Girls. In fact, "like" isn't a strong enough verb. I think "love" suits my feelings much better. I love this show. I wish I lived in Stars Hollow with Lorelai and Rory (hence the title of my blog). I'm mildly pissed off that Lorelai and Luke are together, because Luke is on my incredibly short list of men that I would actually consider marrying. Other men on this list include:
1. Dr. Perry Cox from Scrubs
2. J.D. from Scrubs
3. Bert the Chimney Sweep from Mary Poppins
4. Doogie Howser


Isn't it sad that they are all fictional characters? I also find it rather interesting that three of them are doctors, and the others have more "blue collar" professions, a chimney sweep and a diner owner. I wonder what a Marxist critic would have to say about my choices. I am a sad, lonely, pathetic little person. But I love buffalo. And I really need to get to sleep. Stay tuned....there will be much mindless blather and more incredibly stupid pictures coming soon.