They call me the working man....

I guess that's what I am. Okay, so nobody actually calls me that. But, kudos to you if you can name that tune and that artist! Anyway, I thought that today would be a good day to give all of my loyal fans an up close and personal look at my life as a technical recruiter. Throughout the day, I will list the things I am thinking about, the things that are pissing me off (which will be MANY, I assure you), and whatever the hell else I feel like talking about. Chances are that I won't end up talking about my job that much, seeing as I will probably use this as an escape during the day when I don't feel like doing my job. Why, you ask, am I doing this? Because I'm bored, mainly. And because I need somewhere to vent since Patrick (my supervisor) is out of the office at a career fair all morning and I usually just bitch at him. Plus, I also thought it would be a nice surprise to get two blogs in a row (on consecutive days)!

So, it's about 9:30 now...I've been here an hour and a half. And here's what I'd like to point out: Mike (who is one of my fellow recruiters) uses the phrase, "These days" in complete over-abundance. And it catches, because I find myself saying it when I'm on the phone. And each and every time I say it, a voice in my head says, "Dude, do you really want to be one of those people who uses the phrase 'these days?'" And the obvious answer to that question is, "No, of course not." But, of course, I continue to do it. Dammit, Mike!

I'd like to point out that although thongs make my ass look very nice in dress pants, and I like the idea of them, as well as how they look, they are not the most comfortable of all underwear to sit around the office in. I really thought I would get used to them if I just kept wearing them. However, I'm sitting here right now wishing I didn't have a piece of fabric up my ass. So, basically, I had the choice between comfortable underwear, a choice which results in visible panty-lines, or the ass-flossers, which result in a panty-line free derriere. And, because you know I love to provide visual images, I have provided a picture of the style of thong I am currently wearing up my ass. Unfortunately, I was unable to take a picture of myself wearing it, as I am at work, so you'll all just have to deal with a picture of just the thong. I'm sure you're disappointed. I was not able to find a picture of the exact color that I'm wearing today, but I do, in fact, own the pair pictured. The important question is here is, "Why do I give a shit what my ass looks like at work?" The answer is simple. Society has conditioned me to feel that I have to impress people with my looks at all times. Enough said. I won't even get into it right now.

Enough about my underwear. I don't want anybody to get too hot and bothered (ha ha ha, I know, very funny). I'd like to acknowledge another of the quirks of this job that I find to be strange. When we send out a candidates resume to a client company, we take off all of the candidate's personal information (address, phone number, e-mail address) except for the name. We place the candidate's resume on our company letterhead and send it out. This is not what I find strange. I think that's pretty normal. However, this process is called "greening up" the resume. I have "greened up" two resumes this morning to send to one of our clients. Why is it called that? I've asked around, and nobody seems to know. But they use the term quite freely. I, however, am not quite as comfortable throwing around this term that I do not know the origin of. I am also not comfortable using the word "green" in verb form. It's a damned color...generally used as an adjective. It can't even really qualify as a noun, because it's not a person, place, thing, or idea. What does it mean "to green" something?? Colors in generally are not usually used as verbs. I suppose "pinking shears" would qualify in this case. They obviously have nothing to do with the color pink (which confused me as a small child), but it is an example of a word that generally represents a color being used as something other than an adjective. I'm sure you're bored with my grammatical blatherings. I'm just confused. I will stop now.

Right now it's about 11:43 in the AM. I'm really hungry. However, I refuse to take lunch until 12:30 when I brown bag it (which I did today), because if I take lunch from 1:30 to 2:30, I can watch Family Feud and Who Wants to Be a Millionare back to back. It's a nice little treat in the middle of the day. It's more entertaining when Dustin (another of my fellow recruiters) brings his lunch and watches as well, because he gets incredibly angry at the people on the game shows, and it cracks me up. I'm not sure if today will be a lonely day in the conference room/lunch room or not. Only time will tell me that. Regardless, Richard Karn (a.k.a. Al from Home Improvement and Meredith will keep me company during that incredibly short hour.



It is now 1:35 PM, and I am happy to report that my lunch hour was a good, non-lonely one. Not only was Dustin there to be pissed off at the game shows, but many others were there as well. So, a happy lunch time all in all. This afternoon, I finally get to work on something that doesn't completely suck my ass. After working on machinists and low-end for what felt like 5 million years, Patrick is allowing me the small pleasure of working on structural designers. Unfortunately, I'm also having trouble finding structural designers to call.

Let me just add here that I am incredibly tired of hearing about the bird flu. Each time I have opened a new internet window today, MSN pops up, and there have been headlines about the bird flu all day. This is all a bunch of bullshit...like West Nile, and SARS (yes, SARS was quite real in Asia, but it wasn't exactly an epidemic in these parts). All I'm saying is that the media LOVES to freak people out. And it works. Because most of us believe everything that we hear on the news, especially my grandmother, and she's a topic for another time.

It's about 3 PM, and I finally got some bitchy action on the phone. Somehow, nobody has managed to piss me off too badly today, but this chick was pretty bitchy. I called her, went through my whole routine, "I came across your resume in my database, just wanted to touch base with you, see what you're doing these days," all in my cutest, nicest voice, and she says in her most bitchy, nasty voice, "I'm washing my car right now. Call back another time." Gee, I hope she doesn't need a job. Oh well. That wasn't even that excited compared to some of the assholes I've encountered in the past (Lindsey will recognize the two words "assholes" and "encounter" lingering together in that sentence from the still unfinished musical I began to write in high school. I really need to finish that...).

It's quarter after 3. Patrick and Kirsten are (once again) analyzing specific episodes of Saved By the Bell. It's pretty fantastic. It would be more fantastic if they would discuss the cultural implications (much like my boy Chuck Klosterman). I suppose the fact that they briefly discussed Hitler and Zack Morrison in comparison as leaders is kind of cultural (and kind of ridiculous). I wonder where we could go with that. If I knew Saved By the Bell in and out like they do, I could definitely come up with some good comparisons there...it's really quite intriguing. I have added some visual aids, so that you can ponder this strange comparison for yourself.


And now we approach the end of the day! It's about quarter til 5, and I'm going to publish this shit and start cleaning stuff up so that I can get the hell out of here! I hope you enjoyed today's blog! I'd like to hear from those of you who read....what would you like me write about? COMMENTS, DAMMIT!!!! Suggestions!!!!